Love is more than enough
by jackiezha44
Summary: He thought that love is enough for them to trust fully each other. And now here he is in the bar drowning himself to his drinks..until "Xander is that you?" He look around until he saw the woman he thought he would not see again. "Amanda?"
1. Chapter 1

May 2014

"What do you mean postpone?" Castle yell at her.

"Babe, I am asking you to move our wedding for another 2 or 3 months." Kate said nervously pacing their room. She doesn't want to tell him the reason why she is moving their wedding even she is excited to be his wife. But she had to do this so they can move forward without worrying the danger to their future. In order to achieve what she wants she have to make the biggest sacrifice and that is their wedding.

"2 0r 3 months, why? You have to give me the acceptable reason why we are postponing the biggest day of our life." He shout at her. He is beyond furious how could she ask something like this, they have waited so long… He haf waited so long for this to happen and now she wants to move their wedding, _what the hell is going on? He thought._

"Just trust me okay on this, I will not jeopardize our life for something. I am doing this for us, for our future." She is trying to make him understand but she can't give him a even a little detail of her plan.

"And that's make me feel better, that your doing this because it's for us, for our future…". He said bitterly

"Babe, please don't make it harder this for me, this is so hard for me, I am looking forward to be your wife, spend the rest of my life with the man I love." She said crying, pleading him

"Then what is? Because I know that your not telling me the truth, tell me, make me understand" Castle standing up looking at her like he was about to cry.

"I can't right now…just please trust me… I love you so much." She said trying to reach his hand but he back away and that makes it hurt to her.

"Are having a cold feet?" He asked looking at his feet

"No! Babe, I want this more than anything." She said coming closer to him lifting her hand to his face so he can look at her.

"Last time we talk about it, if you want more time I give you time, but now when it is near your asking to move what do you think would I feel." He said to her holding her shoulder with his both hands.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm going to D.C. for 2 months, and this will be my opportunity to bring down Bracken." She blurted out she can't make him think that she doesn't want him because she do. But it is FBI case and it will be federal offense if she shared this to him.

"Wow! And you didn't bother to tell me right away. We've done this before, I thought we are better now at communicating." He back away from her glaring at her.

She was taken aback the way he is looking at her. She never look at that, a look with hurt, disappointment, betrayal.

"We are… Castle, please I promise we will get married just give me this… I thought I can walk away, but this is only chance so I can bring my mother into justice. And after this we can move on with our lives." Kate said sitting on the bed crying.

"You know that's what I want, I thought we are in this together… but looks like your doing it without me." Castle said. He can't believe that this is happening. But his thought interrupted by her ringing tone.

"Beckett. What? You mean now, can you give me a little more time, I have to resolve some personal matter. Okay." She said on the other line. Castle listening but only what she is saying.

"Who is that?" He asked

"Babe, I need to go. I promise I'll tell you when I get back." She said taking her small luggage that Castle failed to see.

"Are you kidding me right now. You just tell me today and now your going without even asking me if I'm agreeing to this." He said angrily

She started to come to him to hug him before she goes. Her phone started ringing again.

"I'm coming." She answered

"Unbelievable" He mumbled and walking away to the living room. She followed him with her things.

"I love you, and when I get back we are getting married I promise you" She said trying her best as possible.

"You know what. Don't bother." He said loudly

"What is that supposed to mean?" She nervously asked she is not liking what he is implying. And her heart beat a little faster.

"Don't bother coming back" He said angrily and storm on their bedroom.

A/N: Please free to comments, suggestion, criticize.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Two days have pass, two days when she left his heart ripped apart. When they fought that day when he storm to their bedroom, when she tell him that she will come back no matter what, that they will get married, she promised. That she's always do make promises… just promise that always been broken. He drunk himself that night then pass out hoping that when he wakes its just a nightmare that they will get married as the date they decide.

Later that night, Rick Castle decided to go out and goes to his bar to do what he's been doing during the last 2 days of his life… a life without Kate Beckett his future wife that he promised to love forever. He sit on the counter bar and asked his bartender for a hard liquor so he can easily get drunk.

"Xander is that you?" A certain brunette ask him and slide to chair near him. Castle taking the effect of the alcohol he sipped before turning to the woman who call him the name he thought would never hear again. And when he did his eyes widen, shock to see the woman beside him is Kyra's bestfriend and become his bestfriend too when he and Kyra broke up. Amanda Lopez becomes his shoulder to cry on when his world fell apart when Kyra left him to Boston. They become close and they get to know each other that time. She is the one who always say "You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on." But his mind comes back when he zoned out.

"I'm sorry, for coming to you probably you don't remember after so many years of not keeping in touch with you." The woman said.

"Amanda." He mumbled but she still hear it.

"So you still remember me?" Amanda asked doubting if he still knows her after what happen in their past.

"How could I forget someone like you? I was surprise you still knows me after you left, like Kyra did." He doesn't want to sound bitter but seeing her reminds what he's been through of Kyra and Amanda. And it doesn't help that he is hurting right now.

"Of course you are the famous mystery-writer Richard Castle. The one who makes me feel that I'm very special, that someone like you will have an interest to someone like me. But apparently wake me up of my fantasy when I heard you saying to your buddies that moving on is not easy, it won't happen automatically." She said with a calm voice because that's what she wanted to say for all the years she kept to herself.

Castle has his mouth open to say something but she interrupted him by continuing how she can never forget him.

"When I heard what you said, you make me realize that what we had is good to be true. I kind of feel that time you use me to try to get over Kyra, my bestfriend. I thought that you've move on and trying to start over again that maybe I was the reason you were trying because you wanted to be with me but I was wrong. You had never get over her all that time when you were with me." Amanda said to him then standing up to leave him but before she can go further he holds her arm to stop her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you feel that way, if only you come to me and talk about it." He said to her still holding her arms guiding her to sit again near him.

"It's okay. It happens to everyone as they grow up. We have to experience things in order for us to be a better person. And don't worry I keep the wonderful memories we have and I would never forget you." She said smiling at him

"Still, you should have talk to me. You left me thinking that I wasn't good enough that I'm not worthy enough to atleast say goodbye. I was wondering that time if you have stayed, what could have happened? Maybe I wasn't here hurting so much" He said to her then drink the remaining in his glass.

"Yeah, but we know that we can never know what could have happen. We are here where we belong." Amanda said holding his hand squeezing it to let him know that she's here now. "Maybe we can never get back where we left of but we can start to move on, and start something fresh. So hit me. Who's the woman?" she asked and asking the bartender to give her another drink. She thinks this will be a long a night just like the old times.

"And do you know?" Castle asked signaling to give him another drink too.

"Oh please, you looks give it away. And here in the bar drowning your pain. I've known you since forever even if we don't see each other this past years." She said and lifting her glass to him

"To our pain, to our past, to our fresh start. CHEERS!"

"CHEERS!" He said.

A/N: Next chapter will takes place in Escaparse Island Resort (Welcome to Your Escape)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**3 months Later**

Castle met his oldest buddies Adrian in college when he return to NY. And he asked Amanda to meet him also because they know each other. They talked a lot reminiscing their time during college and they laugh what they did during those times. Especially when he was caught bringing the cow to the school rooftop. Rick Castle mentions also his past marriages, and then his friend ask.

"Wait a minute I thought you got marriage again for the third time. Kate Beckett right? I saw the engagement announcement on the paper. What happen?" His buddies ask clueless of what this topic have an effect of Castle.

"Well, it didn't work out. I don't know." Castle doesn't know how to explain what the situation is really. Amanda holds his hands on under the table to let him know that it's okay to talk about it other than her. She excuses herself to go on the wash room.

"Excuse me I will just to go to the wash room." She said to the boys

"Okay." They said together

Castle looking at Amanda going to the wash room. And he doesn't notice that his friend Adrian looking at him while looking at Amanda.

"Boy, you've gotta know when it's time to turn the page." He said to Castle, instantly Castle head snapped at his friend confuse of what he is saying.

"What are you saying?" Castle asked him

"What I am saying is that the way you look at her. I don't know what really happen why your engagement doesn't pull through. I encounter a lot of people going through the same as you. Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go but rather learning to start over." Adrian said to him

"I don't know what you are talking about buddy." Castle said

"Oh Come on, your eyes speak for itself. You never take your eyes away from her the moment we set foot here." Adrian teasing him like he always do when he has a crush on a girl during back time.

Castle blushed with his comment. It's true that his eyes on Amanda. For the last 2 months they've bond through his book signing tour and to her resort.

_2 months earlier._

_**WELCOME TO ESCAPARSE RESORT (Welcome to your Escape) Where the Hundred Islands is composed of 3 developed islands naming Children Island, Governor's Island, and Quezon Island – the most advisable island to stay. You can do different activities like Banana boat ride, Snorkeling, Island and Cave hopping, or simply enjoy the white sand and the clear azure water. It's Amanda's resort. He invited her to come to his book signing during the first 2 weeks after they meet again.**_

"_**You mention that you want to see how people get crazy about me during my book signing. So I was thinking maybe you wanted to come with me. Then after book signing we can go around, shopping. So what do you thin?" Rick asked her during their gym session.**_

"_**Hmm.. let me check my schedule." She said then scroll her cellphone for her calendar.**_

_**Smirking at her then said "That busy ha. So I need to make an appointment so you can go with me." Teasing her**_

"_**Ha, ha, ha, funny. I was just checking because I have to unveil our new marketing plan for my resort." Looking at him then check her phone again.**_

"_**Well, im just suggesting not really forcing you to come it's just I wanted to spend more time with aside from bar hopping, or bowling, or here in the gym. I wanted to show you what it looks like about my work." He said to her, then Amanda look at him in the eyes see that his making a puppy look.**_

"_**Alright. Why don't we make a deal. After your book tour, you are coming with me on my resort so atleast we can spend time together as friends of course and also you can see the beauty of a place where people want to escape of their problem, pain, heartbreak." She said then realize what she said on the last part.**_

"_**Rick, I mean that's my resort tagline. I didn't mean anything about you." She explained immediately.**_

"_**No, it's okay. And I would love to come to your resort. So what is the name again Escaparse Resort. Welcome to your Escape. Wow! I like it." He said smiling at her.**_

"_**Yeah, it is." She said.**_

It brings them closer again like before. But he doesn't want to give her impression like before. Castle doesn't want to hurt her again because he knows what it feels like to be left on the sideline. He is still in love with Kate. And still hoping for her to come back, like she promise but its already 3 months and maybe his faults he said to her to not come back. When Amanda and him go on a trip he lost his phone. He buys a new phone and asked if he can be able to use his old no. but the service provided didn't allow him because he is outside New York. He talk to Alexis and his mother to let them know his contact no. in case something happen. And they just got back from their trip and he is thinking twice to recover his previous number afraid to hear what in his voicemail.

"So what did I miss?" Amanda asked when she return to their table. It brought him back to the present.

"Nothing" Castle said immediately

"Actually I was giving Rick here an advice." Adrian said when he notice that Rick rattle a little.

"Advise on what?" She asked eyeing Rick for a moment before she turned her head to Adrian.

"You know some stuff. Our boy here has been lonely for sometime. Maybe I can give him some punch to wake him to chill a little and have some fun." Adrian doesn't want to put Rick off guard so he tells otherwise.

"Lonely? No, your wrong we just got back from our trip on my resort. Speaking of you should come next time when we go there. You'll love it there and you will wish you never leave that place." She said changing the topic. She knows what Adrian talking about Rick.

"Yeah, you should come to that place it was heaven." Rick said his calm because the topic has been change.

A/N: I like this quote… just sharing.

"_Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?"_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Turning, sweat coming into her forehead, she wanted to scream but she can't all she can do was to begged not to leave her. _Please Castle, I love you don't leave me. Please, Please….._ and her eyes snapped open then groaned when she heard the noise that coming from her phone. Agh… trying to shake the dream she had, a dream that she wish will stay as a dream then reached her phone.

"Beckett." She answered

"Yo, its Esposito. We have a body." He said

"Okay, give me 10 minutes then I'm coming just text me the address." She tell Espo.

"Rough night huh." Espo assumed

"Not really. Anyway I have to go so I can come as fast as I could. Bye" She said hurriedly sighing and putting her both hands palming her face then groaned. Then she can't take it anymore. She cried, then her shoulder shaking, sobbing like she's going to break. She can't believe that this is happening to her. This is her fault if only she had just listened to him. All the hard work that she put on the FBI operation, the sacrifice she made are all for nothing because until now Sen. William Bracken is still in the position.

And worst part of all that when she came back to the Loft even if he tells her not to come back. She promised that she will come back and she came back and he was gone. She try to call his cellphone but it always going thru to his voicemail. And it doesn't help that she had this dream when Castle doesn't accept her anymore. For almost 3 months that she'd been away from him, it killed her, she longed for him. And now here she is in her apartment alone, she can't stay in the Loft because living there will only reminds of what stupid she did to throw all away that they've started to build.

She tried to call his agent Paula but she doesn't know where he goes after the 1 month tour. She tried to call Martha but she doesn't know also where he went. And Alexis she hesitated at first but she has to. Alexis said that Castle goes to a certain Island with a friend. She asked Alexis if she has a number that she can contact Castle but she said that Rick was the one who is calling its like a burner phone. Feels like that the world showing her what a stupid she'd made for not choosing him.

She get up then dressed she had to go to work for her to forget the heart ache she is feeling right now. When the times that Rick Castle comeback she will do anything to make this right. They will get married like they plan to. And she will not back down even if she is the one who will chase this time. She had to because they were meant to be… like they always do. _Always._

_A/N: it's very short I have to check my English._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Castle's Loft

"Welcome home to me!" Castle said spreading his two arms like his infront of the Titanic ship.

"Really, you're welcoming yourself to you own home." Amanda smiling widely to him while hanging her coat to the rack.

"Well as you can see, no one is home to greet me. My Daughter Alexis still leaving in the campus dorm and My Mother maybe she's on her new object of attention." And Kate is never comeback kept to himself.

"Then I will greet you, Welcome to your home Xander!" She said laughing while shaking her head. Then go straight to the couch to sit for a bit her feet is sore for their escapade

"Thank you!" Smiling to her then asked her "What would you like to drink my lady?"

"A wine please if you have the one we drink last time" Amanda answered him lying her head to the head of the couch. "This feels good relaxing a bit, you really wore me out, until now you never change when you stop on the action figures, and still feels like a kid." Saying to him while her eyes close

"Then you should wear flat shoes the next time you come with me." He said to her while refilling their glass of wine

"Oh no, I will never come with you again, the last thing I want is to be mistaken mother of man in a sugar rush. God you should have seen the face of those staff in that shop." She turn to him then laugh about it.

"Yeah, laugh about it. I'm always making your day worthwhile am I" He said to her giving her glass of wine

"Cheers, Welcome home." Amanda said

"Cheeers" Xander cling his glass to her

"So what do you want for dinner?" Rick asked her after sipping his wine then look at her.

"Rain check. I have to go over those proposal it's long overdue because of you and your giddiness all the time. So I'll call you when I'm free okay." She said standing up after finishing her drinks

"Can you at least stay for dinner. Please" Rick pleading her, because when she's gone he will feel the emptiness again inside him.

"Sorry, I really have to go. I'll make it up to you next time buddy." She said while walking to the direction of her coat. Then look at him and shaking her head when she saw the face of Xander, _God his pouting and it's adorable. She thought._

"Please." Trying again using his charm

"I'll call you okay." She said opening the door before she changes her mind. She doesn't want to go but she has some papers to finish and there are some meetings schedules that she has to attend to. She really had a great time with him, but she have to protect her heart too. When she was outside the door Xander pull her into a hug then kissed her in the cheek.

"You take care okay. It was great experience and happy to be with you again." Xander said still holding her waist.

She don't know what came to her, she put her arms to his neck then kissed him in the lips lightly. "Me too. So happy you don't know how much." Amanda said then let go of him then go directly to the elevator before she do something stupid the she will regret later.

"Bye" Castle shouted then goes back inside the loft then goes straight in the bar to take a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"So you and me again Jack. Like the last time." Pouring himself a glass then lifted it CHEERS to me then drink it in once.

His head twirling around after he drank the half of the bottle. Then pass out on the couch like the last time. The last time when Kate left him. The last time when she break his heart into pieces. Last time… when it will end? He thought then he goes into the dark of unconsciousness.

A/N: Sorry a little short again. Hope you like it. One Chapter more and then they will see each other again in not a normal circumstance. CHOW


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